Week commencing 18th May has been 2020's Mental Health Awareness week. Honestly, I have mixed feelings about the idea of an "awareness" week or month or whatever. Its a bit like the eye-raising idea of Valentine's Day or Mother's/Father's Day, in that its a week that is set aside solely for raising awareness of something or to celebrate something when really these things should be already made aware or celebrated outside of just that one day or week or month.
Nevertheless, it is admirable that extra effort is invested during these times. Especially this year and especially the situation that we're currently finding ourselves in at this time - y'know, virus and all!
The theme for this week is kindness, which we all have the capability to be at all times. There are so many of us fighting our own inner battles that no one else knows about, and the last thing we need is for someone to make our lives even more difficult. The best we can be right now, especially given current circumstances, is kind - to ourselves, and to everyone else.
I'll be honest, my mental health has been a bit all over the place these last couple of months, caused by a mixture of
- my routine having been shot to hell as a result of staying at home and keeping safe;
- not being able to see my friends as much as I'd like to (Zoom just isn't the same!);
- being made redundant, so no income and no opportunity to train and develop (not ideal when I'm trying to qualify as a solicitor via the CILEx route, is it!)
- seeing the same people day in day out and doing the same things day in day out.
About a month or so ago I did feel particularly low, to the point of despair and a lot of distress. It came after spending every day and night since being made redundant searching for a new job, desperately clinging to the notion that somebody somewhere wants me to work for them or has some work needs that they can use me to fulfil. Calls to employers bore no fruit, conversations with recruiters were, by and large, the same (no one is recruiting right now, but you're "on our radar"), but I held out thinking that someone somewhere might break the mould .......... I was wrong. Maybe I was blind to or underestimated the exact impact the virus pandemic has had on the recruitment market as a whole, or just wanted to be positive that I would bounce back quickly like I did last time.
During one call to a recruiter, I had become so tired of being hopeful and optimistic that I just broke down over the phone. I'm not proud of it, neither was it professional in any sense of the word given the nature of the call being a call to ask if there have been any opportunities come her way. Turns out she had been furloughed and was under no obligation to continue to speak to me as furloughed workers are not allowed to do any work for their employer or any other employer. She could have just put the phone down straight away after saying "I've been furloughed", but she stayed on the phone with me for an hour and tried to bring me back down to a calmer state. I'm grateful that she gave up some of her time to help me, and that fact that we learned we have some mutual interests, so it was nice to be able to connect a bit there. But most importantly, I think we all forget that even though we do a professional job and have a professional image to maintain and grow, beneath all of that we are all human and we have our own human problems. If we forget that, then we do ourselves a great disservice. It means we can't look after ourselves and if we can't do that, we have no business looking after or servicing other people.
Thanks Tamara for your kindness here!
Also, remember Chelsea? She helped me with some proofreading of a previous blog, and I mentioned her regarding self-publication. She came to me for help, support and encouragement for a couple of retake LPC exams. We put our heads together and went over lectures, sessions and revision notes, and filled in some gaps where she was struggling. She did some past papers and sent them over to me, I 'marked' them and suggested what we could do to get extra marks and what she needed to think about. She asked me for help and I believed I could really help here, and she made me feel really useful and humbled that she trusted me to be honest and "nit-picky" with her so that she could improve as much as she could and achieve her goal.
She passed the Business Law and Practice exam, so just Employment to go. I'm confident she'll get it. She's done great to get to this stage, so now we'll get over the last hurdle.
She's also been very gracious with her time when I've not been well some days too. Like above, when I've been exhausted from being optimistic and just drained from the situation. We both support each other because we're both having to adjust quickly to these new circumstances.
Thanks Chelsea for letting me be useful here!
Its safe to say my parents have been incredibly kind and patient with me whilst I'm at home full time. Before, I would only be home in the early morning when waking up and late in the evening when coming back from work and the gym. Mum is working from home so is having to adjust to this situation too, whilst Dad is retired so this isn't a huge change for him apart from not going out as much as he used to. The best we can be is kind and patient with each other.
Whilst I've been at home full time, I've kept busy doing housework and garden work, helped to make sure medications are outlined for each week ahead, and done more cooking and baking of new things to try some new things out and as a way of doing my part to keep us all going and bring some variety into our foods. Mum and I have tended to split the cooking between us but with me back home full time, this is a time for me to get much more hands-on.
My friends have been amazing during this time too. Even though we can't be there all the time due to our own priorities (children, family, work etc), we know we can catch each other whenever and know that we'll get back to each other.
We've done a few pub quizzes together, which have been fun. Think we might be due to do another one soon, assuming we can all find a time that works for us all. Once this is all over, we're going to find out how we can all get together before one of us heads off to Australia for a few years.
Whilst it is great that we show kindness to others and humbling that we receive kindness from others, it is imperative that we show kindness to ourselves too. You've heard the sound bite, right? Self-care isn't selfish, its necessary. We need to do things that nurture ourselves and our own health. Find something that you enjoy doing - doesn't matter what it is - and do it for no other reason other than you get enjoyment out of it.
For me, that's things like:
- cooking and baking (that reminds me, I've got some more photos to share!),
- gaming (at the time of writing this I'm most of the way through Assassin's Creed Odyssey and enjoying the history element of the game too),
- travelling (bit difficult now, I know),
- reading, either paper or online, though mostly now its online articles and learning resources
- study (yep, I'm still a student at heart!)
Whilst this last week has been good to raise more awareness, let's not forget that looking after ourselves is a full-time deal. So let's not be afraid to talk, share, do things that we enjoy, and be kind to each other.
Be kind, be safe and be well :)
Cover image credit - Clay Banks on Unsplash
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